Testosterone"
by The Bud
Summary: Mulder annoys the X-Men.


Disclaimer: I own no Fox or Marvel rights. If you sue me, all you'll get are  
  
  
Four Wal-Mart fish anyways.  
  
  
  
  
Hi there all! I always wondered what'd happen if X-Files met X-men.  
  
This aspired because I wondered what Mulder would look like in ruby quarts  
  
  
And spandex. Then I saw a picture of him swimming. My sister,   
  
She just loves Mulder to death. Even had a picture of him stuck to her alarm  
  
Clock. I don' wanna know. Anyways, I can't seem to get this verdampt word  
  
  
Perfect working because it keeps changing font and size on me. Gerrrr.  
  
  
  
It keeps putting headers where there aren't any and keeps bolding my text.  
  
  
  
But in any case, on with the show!  
  
  
  
"Testosterone"  
  
  
Washington D.C. Three A.M.  
  
  
*Bang, bang, bang !*  
  
  
"Go away! It's three A..M!"  
  
  
" Ho-Ho! Yes, But this X-File can't wait Scully!"  
  
  
"This is about that girl with the white stripe, isn't it?!"  
  
  
  
" Your assumptions would be correct oh skeptical one, but officially,  
  
  
I'm going to New York to .. uh.. Investigate an unnatural phenomenon!"  
  
  
  
" Hey! Keep it down out thar! I'm try'n ta sleep!"  
  
  
  
"Mulder, I'll let you in, but don't touch anything! Get that?!"  
  
  
  
"Woo- Hoo!"  
  
  
New York. Next day. 2:25 A.M.  
  
  
"Mulder, it's too early, let them sleep!"  
  
  
"Ever sence I found out my girlfriend was a vampire, I don't sleep"  
  
  
"What ever.."  
  
  
{Bang, Bang ,Bang!}  
  
  
"Damnit! This had better be good Wolverine! I swear Jean, I don't know how he does  
  
  
it! Every Freakin' time!"  
  
  
"Scott, It's O.K.. really... we'll just try again later!"  
  
  
"~whine~ But I'm so close!"  
  
  
(Bammm Bamm Bamm!)  
  
  
"I said I'm comming! Keep your Canadian Mounties on!"  
  
  
  
" How'd you know I'm Canadian?!"  
  
  
" Wha!? Who the hell are you and why are you banging on my door this  
  
  
fuckin early?"  
  
  
"I told you it was too early!"  
  
  
" Special Agent Fox Mulder! And This is Agent Dana Scully, We're here to  
  
  
investigate an unnatural penomenon!"  
  
  
"Can't you come back in five hours?! It's too fucking early!"  
  
  
"But not too early to be fucking?"  
  
  
"MULDER!"  
  
  
"Scott! No! Scott! Stay! Bad Bad Scott!"  
  
  
The Med lab. 3.14 A.M. Two busted lips and seventy stiches later.  
  
  
"What the hell are you laughing at Logan?"  
  
  
"Didn't know ya had it in ya bub! Ya almost won too!"  
  
  
" Scott! Sit down! I'm not done stiching you up!"  
  
  
"~whine~ Yes Jean."  
  
  
  
"Hi, My name is Agent Mulder. I'm here to investigate an unnatural phenomenon."  
  
  
"Ahh. Rouge."  
  
  
"Mr Mulder, I feel I must insist you sit down while I finish applying your  
  
  
bandages."  
  
~whine~ "Yes Dr.McCoy."  
  
  
"Ya know bub, you fight pretty well for the sissy side o' Canada."  
  
  
". Mulder 0, Logan 1. I told you it was too early, Mulder, but do you ever even listen to me?"  
  
  
  
"You say something Scully? Anyways, you don't smell so bad for the mountain man,  
  
  
flannel wearing deer jerky chewing side O Canada ither."  
  
  
" Why you mother- fu.."  
  
  
"LOGAN! "  
  
  
"LOGAN!"  
  
  
~grumble~ 'Yes Jean, Yes Beast."  
  
  
"So what phenomenon is our lovely Rouge involved in?  
  
  
"I'd rather discuss that with her. But it appears that all of the women here  
  
  
are involved."  
  
  
"By the bright light! Remy and I just got the blood cleaned up and the window fixed."  
  
  
  
"Ne! Look like ol' Cyke likes it rough!"  
  
  
  
  
"Jean! No! Sit! Siiiit! Thats My good girl! Owww!"  
  
  
  
"Remy just fainted!"  
  
  
  
"What? I didn't do anything!"  
  
  
  
"He's still conscience, He's looking up my skirt."  
  
  
  
"Oww! Remy no mean it Chere!"  
  
  
  
"Hey! Another Girl! Purple hair too..."  
  
  
"Stop it Mulder!"  
  
  
  
"~whine~ But Scully!"  
  
  
"No!"  
  
  
"Ok.. I flaimin' got Rouge! Now get on with Yer investigation so I can gutt ya!"  
  
  
  
"Oooh Hoo!! Threatning a federal agent! I'll see you in stare Penn!"  
  
  
  
"Only if ya live that long."  
  
  
"Ah Can't ba - lieve ya'll brought me in hea to see this guy!"  
  
  
"I have to investigate your Phenomenon!"  
  
  
"Bub, perhaps ya ain't got it yet, Blue furred guy, optic blasts, people flying,  
  
  
The term, Mutants ring a bell?"  
  
  
"Ya'll he knows that!"  
  
  
"Well, then, What does he want, Rouge?"  
  
  
"Foa tha last time! My boobs are real!"  
  
  
Washington D.C....2:30 A.M..And a bottle of lotion.  
  
......oops, we didn't say that.  
  
  
  
(Bang Bang Bang!)  
  
  
"Scully!"  
  
  
"What now!"  
  
  
"We gotta go back!"  
  
  
"Why?!"  
  
  
" I just gotta find out what Jean see's in that dork!"  
  
  
"Go home Mulder!"  
  
  
"But Gambit still has my wallet!"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
